I love my iphone as much as the next person. Bejeweled, the handy dandy GPS, being able to Wikipedia my way out of any factual debate I might be having anywhere, anytime. But in the words of Larry David, “that being said….”
Maybe it’s because I’m turning 40 this year or it’s the beginning of a New Year, but I am finding myself more and more disturbed by how pervasive cell phone use has become. I can’t think of a social meal I’ve had in the last two years where one person hasn’t at least looked at their phone during the meal. This may lead one to question the quality of the company I keep, but I don’t think this dilemma is unique to me. And, it’s not like I’m hanging out with doctors who need to talk their interns through life-saving techniques or even people whose jobs routinely require them to be available all the time.
No, mostly, it’s just that irresistible desire to check an email or respond to a text or document what’s going on for Facebook. I freely admit that I’m not exactly innocent of this behavior either. But I have become increasingly aware of it.
I know that whenever it is we allow our kids to have cell phones, they will certainly never be allowed to use it during meals. Why should the rules be different for me or Doug? After all, aren’t we supposed to be modeling this behavior for our kids?
You may think I'm crazy, but I even got annoyed with Doug the other night for calling our kids during dinner. We were out of town and he insisted on calling to check in while we were enjoying our caesar salad and chianti. I love my kids, but at that moment, I didn't want to talk to them. I wanted to enjoy my husband's company in the warm glow of the candlelight as a quiet blizzard raged on outside.
And, perhaps this is uniquely LA, but when I’m sitting in yoga meditating on how transient life is and the imminence of death while the guy in front of me is scanning his Blackberry, something just seems…terribly wrong.
As a culture, we (at least all the people I hang out with) buy into all things zen and spend a lot of time talking about being present and in the moment. I really believe in these things and, when I sit down to a meal (I keep using meals as an example because well, I love to eat and I really do think of meals as a sacred time) with someone, I do my best to listen when people talk and to enjoy what is going on around me. But this is getting harder and harder to do when everyone is seemingly somewhere else for parts of our interaction. I’m not sure people are even aware of how attached they are to their phone because the behavior has become so commonplace.
I write this as a challenge to all of us—let’s put those phones down and pick up our glasses of wine. I think this is the cheapest and best self-help advice out there.
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